Janne Schaffer - Earmeal

Columbia Records

I've never been one for jazz fusion, and this album solidifies the fact that I never will be. 

Best known for his session work with ABBA and Bob Marley, it's no wonder that Janne Schaffer's solo endeavors failed to catch my ears. Unfortunate, really--a real good waste of eye-catching album art that, in hindsight, is a good indication of what's to come. 

"Earmeal" can best be enjoyed as background music. Almost all of the nine cuts on this record follow the same basic formula as each other, the only real differences being occasional flute and varying degrees of pomp. 

Whether the lack of lyrics comes from the jazz background of the record, avoiding a potential language barrier (Schaffer being Swedish), or just a lack of songwriting ability is beyond me, but missing vocabulary would not be difficult to stomach if the instrumentation weren't so cookie-cutter characterless. I fail to feel effected by anything going on in this record. 

"Earmeal" is basically glorified elevator music. It works tremendously well as something to put on when you're busy with chores around the house, but is an absolute waste of time if you're looking for anything to seriously spend your time with. Attempts at sultriness come off as cheesy, efforts to create tense atmosphere become silly, and the only mildly catchy song ("Bromma Express") quickly becomes dull after more then one listen and seems to have only been recorded so Schaffer could get his money's worth out of Mike Pocaro.

The use of flute in an otherwise wholly jazzy, almost technological setting remains questionable at best--Björn Lindh's playing ranges from annoyingly whispy to strident and shrill to barely there, and Schaffer's guitar playing can hardly do much better--it warbles. Between that, a half-hearted, one-off attempt at eastern music and a brief sojourn into mimicking the scores of '70s sci-fi romances is "Happy Feet", the unholy love child of The Doobie Brothers and Jimmy Buffett. Throughout the entire record you can see inklings of Schaffer's future career as a children's musician. 

Rating: Unrated